🅢

I’m so pathetic
so so pathetic

like literally every time I see Ian I feel sad but idk I still like him a lot what is wrong with me

WHY DO I HAVE TO LIKE PEOPLE 
I’M TIRED OF BEING SAD EVERY TIME I SEE THEIR FACE
I’M FUCKING TIRED

why do I have to like boys that don’t care about me I hate it I hate it I want it to stop I’m here I’m supposed to be having fun bowling but instead I’m thinking about how stupid I am for liking people

wow thank u Ian for that punch to the gut

tbh I am mad that the guys I like just never rly care about me or stop talking to me for extended periods of time like for example when I really want to talk to spencer he’s never there and I know time zones are a factor but then there’s just other stuff
I’m not rly mad
I’m more sad tbh
idk why I said I was mad

lms if you feel like absolute and utter shit but nobody really cares so you don’t have anyone to talk to 

do i even want to go to england any more not really 

hah.

when will i finally be happy

like what does it take

i do fine for a little bit and then i just think about how i’m sad and alone and my world kind of bends inwards and implodes and then i’m just sitting in my bed alone and tired